Home Stretch November 12, 2009

Last night in Beijing. Hallelujah. We can almost taste home. In fact, we’re dying to taste home. I love Chinese food as much as the next person but I am SO over it right about now.

We’re starting to see the REAL Beckett now. And we’re afraid. Very afraid. They say that the girls who come from Hunan province are ‘spicy’. They are not kidding. Where did the mild mannered, placid little baby go? OK – in hindsight she was catatonic the first few days but still! She’s gone from meek to Machiavellian in a scant 2 weeks. Now, if things don’t go exactly her way, she yells. And when I say yells, I’m understating. It’s more of a ‘possessed by the devil’ roar. If green pea soup came spewing out of her mouth the picture would be complete. Russ had her all to himself yesterday afternoon and when I got back, she was…umm..yelling and I asked how the afternoon had gone. “She is the devil” was the reply.

It’s kinda funny actually. OK – its funny when you’re not the one getting yelled at. There are a guaranteed few things that will set her off:

1. Face wiping. Doesn’t matter that she is a continual drool fountain or that her nose is running and she’s mixing the snot with the spit and then wiping it all over her face – you cannot wipe it off. It’s officially gross. And if you should deign to try and remove said grossness, you get possessed screamer. Charming.
2. Putting on clothes. Not that she wants to be naked all the time. She just wants her clothes to magically appear on her body. None of the putting arms through armholes for her. Noooo. And god forbid her legs should have to go through pant legs. Shock horror – socks? Cause for hysteria. Exhausting!
3. Sitting by herself. Apparently, this equals abandonment. “You people shall sit with me at ALL times. There will be no doing of other THINGS. I – and only I shall be the centre of attention. If not, I shall scream. Be afraid.” Poor kid. She doesn’t yet realize that the amount of attention she’s currently getting is more she can expect once we get home. We have another black hole of attention waiting for us there.

Other than that, it’s all good. She’s developing amazingly well. Her muscles are way stronger than they were at the beginning. She can pull herself up to sitting now and can even roll over – a little. Of course she gets royally pissed off when she can’t roll back. She’s even developed a few games with us. Her favorite is to throw herself backwards (whether there’s a pillow or hand there or not) and then wait for us to shlep her up again. Laugh riot.  We’ve added the element of pushing on her forehead with a finger. She resists. We do it two or three times and the last time she stops resisting and lets herself fall back. This gets major chuckles. But she is not amused like most babies are. No making funny faces or tickling for her. All you get is the stony expression. “Really – is that all you people got?” She’s more for dark humor. The freefalling backwards stuff. We’re suspecting she has some daredevil in her. Mark my words, she’s probably going to be bungee jumping by 15. This is a far cry from her sister.

So although we’re facing the harsh reality that she will most definitely not be the sweet, compliant child that her sister was (and is), we’re still diggin’ on her big time.

And now we’re stuffing all of our remaining belongings into our bags. We realized last night that our ‘direct’ flight home isn’t direct after all (words will be had with Aeroplan) and we have to deplane in Vancouver and then get back on the same plane an hour and a half later. This should be an interesting flight as by that point, Beckett will have had the equivalent of a giant nap and will be raring to go. Wish us luck and we’ll speak to you all when we’re back.

And a big thanks to Jenn Tondino who has been my blog poster for the 2 weeks. Who knew WordPress was banned in China? So I’ve been emailing them to her and she’s been dutifully posting them at all hours. You rock Jenn – we all thank you!!

See you in Canada. Who hoo!!! (PS – China is now experiencing its largest snowfall in 54 years. Lucky us.)

Seriously? November 12, 2009

OK – not even funny anymore. Here we are, just trying to get through the stinkin’ week, mindin’ our own business, adoptin’ a baby and clearly the gods are angry with us. Well, me at least.

First of all, the temperature plummeted in Beijing and it was a frosty morning when we all headed out on a bus trip to the Great Wall. The fog (or ‘smfog’ as I like to call it) was thick and Russ was still riding the last of his nausea waves. The sky was so dense that we cold barely make out the Olympic Village as we drove by and we knew it didn’t bode terribly well for the sightseeing trip.

Sure enough, when we arrived, we realized we could barely see 20 feet in front of us. No hope in hell of actually seeing the breadth of the wall. Russ wasn’t feeling well enough to shlep the baby so I gamely strapped her on and up we went. Has anyone ever mentioned that there is no symmetry to the steps up the Great Wall. One is, say 12 inches high, while the next might be 17, and the next 20 and the next 10, etc. Now try to navigate with 14 lbs strapped to your chest and a little pink hat obscuring your vision. Not so easy. So I stayed pretty low and Russ went a little higher but truth be told, we didn’t see a helluva lot – near or far. Ah well – it’s only one of the 7 wonders of the world. How exciting could it be?

All in all, it was a good but very long day (we hit a pearl factory and a cloisonné factory as well) and we all fell into bed pretty early. Beckett was a trooper until the end when she started to melt down in traffic. That’s my kid!

So we wake up the next day and decide to take it pretty easy. I’m feeling a bit nauseous and we all want a bit of a break. We unpack, wash some clothes, walk to the supermarket, take a mommy and me back and generally kill time. I was a little paranoid about my bug returning cuz I was feeling a bit…umm…how to say this delicately, loose on the bottom half (ewww – that’s didn’t come out the right way. Hahaha – but you know what I mean), so I took an Immodium pill in the afternoon.

Cut to the next morning (yesterday morning). We had planned a leisurely breakfast and then a trip out in the afternoon. Beijing was completely snow covered (another freak storm – weird!!) so we figured we’d go slow. Beckett woke us up like clockwork at 7am, I fed her a bottle and then hopped into the shower. I’m lathering up, happily singing away to myself until I look down and see, to my complete shock, that my legs are completely covered in the red welts. MAJOR welts. Whole sections of my legs are swollen with giant patches of red while other areas just have big red spots. Then I look at my torso – yup, welts. Arms, check. Butt, check. Houston, I think we have a problem.

So off I go to the International clinic about an hour’s cab ride away due to the storm. Meanwhile, my ears are swelling, I’m starting to itch and hoping that my throat doesn’t swell shut. Russ and B stayed at home. I was afraid I was catchy! $150 later, I was told that it the hives might just be another lovely side effect of the fabulous virus swimming around in my system – that, or I’m allergic to Immodium. Hmmm. Thanks. But at least I knew my throat wasn’t going to swell shut. Several antihistamines and probiotics later I was back on m way to the hotel and feeling slightly more positive about things.

I got home to find Russ and Miss B playing happily. He officially passed his first solo Daddy test with flying colors. So I’m alive. In fair shape and literally counting the hours until we come home. Check out the pix of the hives. That’s the only part I can show you but it gives you an idea. And here’s some of the Great Wall – what you can see of it anyway.

Next post will be devoted to more scoop on the fabulous Beckett Mei-Li and all of her quirks…

Just When You Think It’s All Settling Down… November 11, 2009

As I write this, I’m sipping on my first glass of wine for a week. Not because I haven’t wanted wine for a week, just because firstly I would have barfed it up, and then there was no decent wine to be found. But our intrepid friend Norma (who is the traveling buddy to Catherine – single mom and Russ’s friend from work (weird) who is also here adopting her daughter Hannah) found me a bottle of Australian Chardonnay in the midst of a Chinese supermarket. She is a good woman. But I digress. Here’s the story(s) du jour…

So aside from the interlude on what we know about Beckett, when last we met, fair reader, I was recovering from a nasty bout of tummy yuck, Beckett was recovering from some sort of weird rash and Russ was just, well, Russ. Up to this point, his greatest challenge had seemingly been the sinking in of the baby reality. “She’s such a…a BABY” he kept repeating. “I mean, its not like I didn’t think she’d be a baby, but she’s SUCH a baby.” I think he may have been in shock. But other than that, he was largely unscathed.

Yeah. Until Friday afternoon, almost 24 hours to the minute after my stomach had begun to rumble, we were out at Martyr Park, enjoying the sites and sounds and he very quietly asked “Ummm, how exactly did your stomach thing start” and then he burped. “With a burp” I replied, trying to remain calm. Russ may be the Zen Buddha and all, but he doesn’t have the constitution to match. “Hmmm’ he replied. “I think I might….”. Those were pretty much the last intelligible words I heard out of him. (And we were due to fly out of Changsha to Beijing the next morning).

We rushed Russ back to the hotel and I took Beckett and headed for the hills for the afternoon, terrified that she too would befall the barf bug. We hung out down the hall in Norma and Catherine’s room where Beckett proved that every day she was literally blossoming. The once implacable kid was now laughing up a storm and playing dumb games with me. She also was going from floppy to almost sturdy and was killing herself laughing as she pulled herself into a sitting position and then let herself fall back onto the pillow with a solid ‘plop’.

When I returned, Russ was huddled under the covers in a major state. “How may barfs did you do?” he asked. “Five good ones” I replied. “Two to go” he moaned. And so he barfed, and slept, while I packed up the room and organized us for travel the following day. By 8am, he was barely out of the woods and feeling like he’d been hit by a garbage truck. I was trying to keep it all together, Beckett under one arm, shelpping suitcases with the other, and Russ trailing behind half stoned on Gravol.

Somehow, the travel gods were smiling down upon us and the usually treacherous Air China was running smoothly that day. We got on the plane, Russ collapsed into his seat and tried to sleep and I played with the Beckster who seemed totally unperturbed by the whole flying in a giant tin can thing. (This hopefully bodes well for the 16 hour flight home but you never know). She had a few melt down moments but I dealt pretty well, all things considered. But by the time we were on the bus from the Beiing airport to the hotel (about 1.5 hours in traffic), I could feel my last nerve being stretched to breaking. (Let’s face it, I’m amazed that I hadn’t had my own melt down by this point. I was exhausted, barely recovered from my own bug and now taking care of not one, but two babies. Oy.)

When we finally got into our room, Beckett was tucked into one bed and Russ in the other, I finally let myself cry…just a little. And then I unpacked, washed bottles and collapsed into bed. It was 8:30pm.  And we had to get up the next morning for our trip to the Great Wall of China. But that’s for another post…

My revelations from the above experience are that a) I’m SO glad I’m not a single parent anymore. It’s way too hard b) I miss Russ when he’s not with me – even in spirit c) my kid’s pretty easy to deal with and d) I am SO all over it when I am needed. I like that about myself. It makes me feel like a pioneer. And I like that I can take care of my family. It makes me happy.

Here’s some pix of us our playing at Martyr Park (such a quaint name for the People’s park – no?) and of the subsequent travel experience. 

More soon!

PS: Fear not – Russ has since recovered and ate his first solid meal today.

More pics… November 10, 2009

File Under…SHIT! November 6, 2009

So the day was all going so well yesterday. For about 5 minutes.

Beckett woke up worse than crabby and upon inspection, it was discovered that not only did she have a low grade fever, she was also covered in red blotches. Hmmm. While trying not to panic, I ran through my mental mommy files. Allergies? Hmm – maybe. We had introduced a new cereal. Measles. Please God no. But the blotches weren’t raised or anything. Teething? Definitely, except it doesn’t give you fever or blotches.

So off we went to see the hotel doctor who, I swear, was about 12 years old, her name tag read “Ring” (I think her name was “Ling” and someone translated it phonetically) and she stood about 4’8”. Oh – and she was wearing those fake eyelid things that come Asian’s wear to try and mask the fact that they have minimal eyelids. Who do they think they’re kidding? They just look like their wearing these dumb little strips of band aid lookin’ stuff on their faces. Odd. We were not filled with confidence.

She politely asked a few questions and our guide Louise translated. The result? Yes, maybe it could be a cold, a fever, a reaction. Thank you and goodbye. Okie doke. So we decided to keep her on Chinese formula for the time being and washed any of her clothes that hadn’t been washed yet to ensure she wasn’t reacting to the something on the fabric.

Crisis one relatively averted. She improved steadily over the day aside from pooping green cottage cheese. (I know, I know – TMI. And I’m only getting started). She was well enough that at 4, I went downstairs to have a foot massage which, I have to say, was quite fabulous and way more than I bargained for. Every bone, tendon and pressure point was duly rubbed and poked and then he went to town on my arms, legs and back. It was 80 minutes long. I drooled on the pillow. Yum.

When I went back to our room, I realized I was feeling a bit queasy. Wrote it off to being hungry as I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and not much then either. Played with Miss B, fed her and we prepped her for bed. I was getting more nauseous by the second and my intestines were starting to rumble in protest over something.  “Keep it to together” I chanted to myself. “Wait until she’s asleep”. Russ, the baby serenader, did his thing and Beckett went out cold.

I raced to the bathroom and the fireworks began. For the next – oh – EIGHT HOURS, I puked, pooped, puked and then pooped some more, usually at the same time. (See how I did that? Made you think the ‘green cottage cheese’ comment was TMI and then I hit ya with this?) I cried the first few times, freaking out that I’d be incapacitated for the next day and wouldn’t be able to take care of the little monkey. I think Russ, despite his eternal calm, was a tad worried too. But by the 4^th barf and KNOWING that it couldn’t be food poisoning because the timing was all wrong and sure it wasn’t a flu cuz I wasn’t hot or shaking or anything, I realized I had been stricken, perhaps for the first time in my life, with a nasty bout of the oft reported yet oddly generic ‘traveler’s tummy’ and that it had to be over soon. OK, I admit it. I did call on a higher power during the 5^th barf but I’m only human. And sure enough, despite it feeling like it would NEVER end, it finally did around 5am. Just in time for Beckett to wake up. 

And so today began. When I say that Beckett and I both took a solid nap this afternoon, it’s even more true of me than her.

But I must have lost at least a pound or two. That’s never a bad thing.

Oh – the pic? It’s me, just post-trauma. I’m lookin’ pretty damn good for someone who just the night on the bathroom floor no? Woo hoo. Ride em cowboy. Only 8 more days to go. (Have I mentioned I’m ready to come home now).

Countdown November 2, 2009

1:30pm in Changsha. We leave for the civil affairs office in one hour. Sixty minutes. After 44 months, I have 60 minutes to go.

I’m exhausted beyond compare. It seems the fates are conspiring to test our fortitude (as if we haven’t been through enough already). We awoke to a freak snow storm in Beijing yesterday. On the surface, it was pretty, blanketed the grimy streets with a clean, fresh sheet. But the roads were chaos when we took off at 8:40am for the airport. And when we arrived there an hour later, the roads seemed calm by compare. Not a single flight had left the gargantuan airport since daylight. Our flight, scheduled for 11:25 (a 2 hour flight) while, again in true Chinese form, was not labeled delayed, it sure as hell was.

The airport was freezing. Trolley drove by handing out blankets to stranded travelers. Our group remained chirpily optimistic as the hours passed. We ate pot noodles, played games, laughed. We were still laughing when we finally took the bus to our gate and boarded at 3:15 – 5 hours after our scheduled flight. Little did we know the waiting had barely begun.

We sat. And sat. And sat. Hour after hour passed. Passengers fidgeted, then squirmed, then argued, then yelled. By three hours in, it was like being in the middle of a street market where vendors were arguing over politics or women. Shouting, gesticulating, even pushing – the flight attendants did there best to calm the passengers. Telling them there was ‘no news’ hour after hour did not help.

In true Canadian form, our group – the only Westerners on the flight, sat relatively quietly. We chatted, exchanged stories, made each other laugh, and kept saying to each other ‘as long as we get there tomorrow by 3pm we’re good!’. Finally some news. We were logged as 60^th in line. It was now 6pm. We’d been sitting on the plane for 3 hours. Russ tried to time the departing flights that were launching almost above our heads. The best guess was one take-off every 3 minutes. The optimistic math was 3 hours more to wait. The crowd got angrier. 

Finally, at about 8pm, an announcement came that said that anyone who wanted to bail out of the flight could do so and there was a quick exodus of grumbling Chinese. But we waited. And we laughed. And we waited. 

9:45. We rolled back at 9:45. It was 13 hours since we’d left the hotel – almost 7 surreal hours sitting on the plane. When we took off, I was sick with relief.

We arrived at our hotel in Changsha at 1:30 am. We were in bed by 3am, fighting with a squeaking air conditioner and the hardest bed I’ve ever slept in. If we got 2 hours of sleep, it was a miracle. Up at 7 and out. Russ went to the bank to exchange money for the orphanage donation and I seeked out a grocery store and bought diapers and baby food.

It’s now 1:50. I get my daughter in 40 minutes. I get.  My daughter. In 40 minutes.

10 Things We’ve Learned in Beijing November 1, 2009

As we depart the glorious mecca that is Beijing, I thought it would be helpful to you, gentle reader, to know some vital truths – should you ever pass this way… 

1. When using the subway, please note that the smaller the Chinese woman, the more likely she is to ram an elbow into your kidneys in order to secure her place on the train.
2. When bargaining at markets (we recommend Yashow Market over the more touristy Silk Market), the amount of sheer incredulity your face can muster upon seeing the initial haggling price, the more likely you are to ultimately score a deal.  And don’t start what you can’t finish. Once you ask ‘how much’ – the game is officially on. And a game it is. You will be cajoled, begged, insulted, shlepped and praised until money is exchanged. (PS – if they are still smiling after the exchange – you got screwed).  Russ is now the proud owner of 7 new sweaters. He actually only wanted 2. Note: This process is exhausting. If you plan to actually buy anything, bring protein based snacks to keep your energy up.
3. You don’t tip in China. We didn’t know. So we did. It was very sweet to see the look of shock on the cab drivers’ faces quickly followed by glee when they realized that no – we hadn’t made a mistake with the change and were actually going to get more money than they asked for. Of course what they were probably thinking was ‘haha stupid round-eyes’ but I prefer to bask in the illusion of gratitude. Note: We got over the tipping thing. Haha back atcha.
4. You CAN get bullfrog and pig intestines in the SAME restaurant dish! Yay!
5. Only in Beijing can you go from t-shirt weather to snow (yup – SNOW) in 2 days. Note: The proof is that we write this from the Beijing airport en route to Changsha where all flights have been severely delayed due to a sudden and very rare snowfall.
6. ‘Central heating’ is the hot air that emits from the government.
7. If changing your hotel room (for the 3^rd time) please remember to take all of your belongings with you. Especially the 6 large brown envelopes containing all of your vital adoption documents as well as some belonging to the entire adoption group. Seriously. This is not the thing you want to discover you cannot find TWO DAYS LATER. Especially when, as you try and get the hotel to backtrack to your second hotel room, you encounter total resistance from the hotel management who, in true Chinese custom, cannot admit that even the housekeeping staff may have failed to find it when they cleaned the room for the current occupant. You may find yourself begging and pleading to be allowed into said room to check, just check, if maaaaayyybbeeeee the staff just didn’t see it. Because ‘please kind sir – I cannot adopt my child, nor can the other TEN FREAKING FAMILIES unless we find these envelopes. I’m sure you can appreciate HOW FREAKING IMPORTANT THIS IS.’ This entire exchange must be done without raising your voice or passing out. That is why everyone should have a calm partner (Russ) and a trusty guide (Sarah) to do the negotiating. Note: In this case, it is helpful to have a brown paper bag handy to reduce hyperventilation. (End note: We found them. I cannot recall being that freaked out in my entire life. Definitely not the high point of the trip so far.)
8. Pot Noodles. Disgusting junk food crap in Canada, delightful street fare snack in China. Though plentiful, the challenge is to find the source of hot water to actually cook the noodles with. Be tenacious, gentle reader, there is almost always a boiled water dispensary close at hand…if you speak or read Chinese that is. For the rest of us, it is advised to simply follow someone down the street if you see them holding an unopened pot of noodles. Caution – you may end up in their kitchen but it’s a risk you must take. If you are successful, you will find a boiled water outlet discreetly located inside a restaurant or snack bar and within minutes, you will be happily slurping the noodle crap you would never be caught dead eating at home – and liking it!
9. Yansing Fresh Beer. Only 5 yuan (that’s less than a buck) and 300ml of sheer delight. Perfect for washing spicy hotpot down with.
10. If you should be fortunate enough to be chosen as your adoption group leader, please be sure to check certification of no inbreeding for all group members. Enough said.

 That’s all for now. We get our babies tomorrow (if we ever get our sorry asses out of Beijing that is). We are now officially 2 hours behind schedule and counting. And its cold as Chinese hell….