The Many Faces of Bexy-Boo April 22, 2010

So what about the baby? How come you’re not writing about the baby? What’s up with the baby. Man oh man – have I ever slipped down the ladder of interest these days. Forget that I’m this crazed multitasking zombie. Forget that I managed to launch a new company WHILE shutting one down – all with a new 17 pound baby on my hip. Forget that I run from upstairs and downstairs, office to playroom, about 60 times a day and have still not lost an ounce. Forget that…ahh forget it. I can understand the interest. She is pretty stinkin’ fabulous.

Since last we met Bexy-boo, she has grown into a scarily long & tall critter with a full set of teeth – all of which she likes to bite with and HARD! We’re considering using her to loosen stubborn bolts. Her stoic sister has been pulled, pinched, punched and prodded by this little badger’s tough little digits. “Gentle, gentle” we say over and over and OVER again. She just grins her goofy grin…and pokes you right in the eye.

Almost everything is mouth-worthy. Hair clips. Check. Carpet fluff? Yum! Shoes? Delish? Socks? Even better! Cardboard? A delicacy! Pennies? Delightful. Homemade spaghetti sauce with precision cut noodles? GAAAGGGGGG. SPUTTER. EJECT! I am beginning to despair. This child has a gag reflex like, well, like a Jewish girl. Feed her a pea and she’ll suck the pea innards out and daintily eject the pea-skin. I didn’t even know that peas HAD skin. Even pureed baby food is too chunky for her delicate sensibilities. And so I grind, pound, squish and squeeze everything into oblivion before I dare offer it to her. But give her a cookie? She’ll stuff the entire thing into her mouth and chew happily. Go figger.

Now let’s move on the the issue of attachment. There. Is. None. This child is so bonded with me you’d think we used freakin’ super glue. My sister and mother find it hysterically funny how Bex howls with utter despair the moment I leave her side but instantly shuts up the moment I’m back. I swear she can go from Jacobean tragedy to Three Stooges comedy in 2.3 seconds flat. Hyuk hyuk. Very funnnny. I’m finding it a wee tiny tadpole cloying myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am so thrilled that she loves and feels safe with me. But I would like to either a) pee alone for a change or b) not be made to feel like I’m sticking hot needles into her whenever I try to pee alone. And Russ doesn’t have it much easier. He’s running a poor third in her affections despite being eternally gentle, patient and on-demand. She’ll smile, coo and get excited when she sees him but if he leaves the room with her – well, let’s just say if babies could wield Magnums, he’d be a dead man and she’d blow the smoke off the barrel without glance down. Lo, on the other hand, is a baby genius. Or is it idiot savant? She can entertain the baby for hours by being totally nonsensical and unintelligible. I finally had to step in and enforce a ‘no babbling’ rule. “She needs to learn how to SPEAK Lotus. Help me out here!” For the record, she’s totally ignored the request but what else is new. Ahh what the hell, they’re happy.

I am happy to report that she now knows where her head is (useful when putting a hat on), has a general idea of where her toes and tummy are located (although you need to ask her about 15 times first), knows how to give a solid ‘high’ five, waves – but only to a favored few so don’t get your hopes up folks, and punches her little fists into the air when you shout “SUPERBABY” (except when its her birthday, the video camera is running, and her entire family is yelling – then she just looks and smiles mockingly. “Buncha idiots’ she must be thinking “look what I can make them do!” And perhaps my favorite trick is her Linda Blair a la Exorcist impression. She does this when she is approving of food. Just watch the video til the end and laugh.

She is one happy baby. And I am one grateful Mama. And we are one thrilled and complete little family.  Its just more fun to bitch, moan and complain. But it would be nice if someone asked about ME again for a change *looks around*. I’m RIGHT here people.

Kisses to all and enjoy the little vid.

Advertisement